Written by Warren.

"In our society anger has become a scourge.  We do not know how to deal with it.  We shun people who get angry...We justify ignoring the message if the messenger is angry.  Remember, if it weren't for anger there would have been no end to Viet Nam, no equal rights for women or other minorities, no Magna Carta, no..." -Will Webster, Nelson's angry poet, October 4, 2000.

Bikestore guy (with hair that sticks up 8 inches making him about 7 feet tall) in Canmore upon learning that we were headed to Nelson, BC to ride last weekend…"Whatever you do, don’t ask for ride recommendations from the guys at the shop called ‘the Sacred Ride’—they’ll send you down some sick trails where it can even be hard to walk." Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think of moab & gold nugget ridge- I’ve ridden the gnar and only broke a few things. (What’s he think I am, a sceamin’ weenie or something?)

5 pm Saturday afternoon arrive in Nelson- first bike store we run into is the Sacred Ride- oh well, we’ll just buy a map. Guy in sacred ride (hereafter known as the sacred dude): "Can I help you guys find some rides?" Karen looks at me. I look at her. ….silence … Given the pause, the guy says "… uh, if you don’t mind, I can suggest some good rides." Me (meekly*): "…uhh,… okay… but we’re kind of old school, riding hard tails and prefer cross-country rides to those where you have to hop all around to get over obstacles." Sacred dude: "no worries, I know lots of good cross-country rides around here where the lack of 15 inches of travel in the front and back won’t matter. The ‘Vein Trail’, for example,… blah blah blah (for 10 minutes)."

7 pm Saturday: This is an omen. Lost in a maze of rocks & trees we’ve been carrying our bikes uphill for 30 minutes along the "Pulmonary Trail". We’ve already run into a one bear tonight and the sun is going fast. So, figuring we could carry our bikes for hours here and don’t want to run into any more large carnivores, we carry our bikes back down the trail figuring that this couldn’t have been the trail labeled on the map (wrong, but we’re slow learners).

12 pm Sunday: me (somewhere on "the Vein"): "THE SACRED DUDE IS A ROTTEN BASTARD!!!" (yelling this to ensure that we don’t run into another bear) 3000 feet of climbing was good, of the 2800 feet of the descent completed so far, I’ve ridden about 20 of it and walked, stumbled, & fallen down the rest of it. I figure the new welt on my butt will heal with time. This has to be a joke. People don’t ride this. In fact, we’ve not seen another bike all day.

6 pm Sunday: karen (drowning her riding blues with cheap tequila at the local mexican tratoria): "The trail suggested by the sacred dude for tomorrow, ‘Placenta Descenta’, is rated as easier than ‘The Vein’. Of this trail, the map declares ‘…fast, clean single track, steep descents are all here.’ Sounds sweet! Bartender, gimme another."

12 pm Monday: Karen (somewhere on ‘Placenta Descenta’): "THE SACRED DUDE MUST DIE!!!" Actually, this trail is relative walk in the park. I’ve ridden at least 20% of the descent. Karen: "I must’ve lost my ability to ride. This sucks."

If you go to Nelson, beware the Sacred Dude or leave your bike at home.

*The meek may inherit the earth, but they’re gonna collect some bruises in the process.